Turning the Tables
by Atuliel
Summary: AH. Elizabeth, Sam, and Rebecca team up to teach Lucky and Nikolas a lesson.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

**A/N:** This is for _renmommy_.

* * *

Elizabeth plunked down in the seat across from the two women, tossing her purse on the oaken table before folding her arms and taking a good, long look at them.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I've asked you to come," she started, taking a deep breath.

"Just a tad," Sam said with a tinge of sarcasm.

Elizabeth decided to ignore that and raised her hand to signal Coleman.

"You two want shots?"

Sam nodded, but Rebecca shook her head.

"Two shots, Coleman," Elizabeth said, then lowered her hand and returned to the other two. "I'm also sure you've noticed that your boyfriends—or ex-boyfriends, or non-boyfriends, or whatever you want to call them—have a tendency to use me and my lips as a rather inappropriate jealousy tool."

"Who wouldn't notice Nikolas slamming his lips against yours at every opportunity?" Rebecca groused, narrowing her eyes.

"Believe me, I am just as annoyed with it as you are," Elizabeth assured her, pausing a moment to accept her shot and pass Sam's to her. "And I'm really sorry they've chosen me to use for this little game. Especially to you, Sam."

Rebecca glanced at the other woman. "Did I miss something?"

"History," Sam explained before tossing back her shot.

"Ah."

"So I propose we do something about it," Elizabeth concluded, leaning back in her chair.

Sam and Rebecca exchanged a glance, then looked at Elizabeth expectantly. When she just sat there in silence, Sam sighed.

"Like…?" she prompted.

"If I knew what, I wouldn't have called you two," Elizabeth pointed out. "If you hadn't noticed, I'm not so good at the plotting."

"And we are?" Rebecca scoffed, tossing her hair.

"Actually…I am," Sam admitted, turning to wave Coleman over to give her another shot.

"Exactly," Elizabeth said happily, tossing back her shot and holding up the glass when Coleman came by to fill them up.

Rebecca considered Sam for a moment. "So…any ideas?"

"Well, our main problem is that Nikolas and Lucky have no respect for us…or really, women," Sam said thoughtfully, leaning back in her chair. "So…why not give them a taste of their own medicine?"

Elizabeth grinned. She _knew_ she could count on Sam, at least for this kind of thing. Rebecca, however, looked more skeptical.

"…How?" she asked, brow arched.

"Well, let's see…they're using Elizabeth to make us jealous," Sam reasoned slowly, "So why don't we hit on other men to make _them_ jealous?"

"Like who?"

"Hm. Well, it would probably drive Nikolas the most crazy if you hit on Lucky, since that's his brother," Sam replied, shifting in her chair. "And Lucky…well, I guess there's always Patrick. Oh, but he's married. Um…."

"Jason?" Elizabeth offered, trying not to sound sour.

"Jas—really?" Sam asked, surprised.

"Well, he _did_…you know…and then…yeah. It would drive Lucky nuts," she said, still attempting nonchalance.

"I'm missing some history again?" Rebecca murmured to Sam.

"Big time," Sam replied, nodding. She leaned forward on the table, focusing on Elizabeth. "Are you sure it wouldn't bother you?"

"B-bother me? Pssh. Jason and I…we are so over. I mean, that ship is so sunk and swimming with the fishes," Elizabeth said, voice squeaking a little.

"Okay, good. We should give you an occupation, too," Sam said with a nod to herself. "Let's see…."

"Me? Lucky and Nikolas don't want me," Elizabeth scoffed, shaking her head. "What good would _I_ do?"

"You could shake them up a bit. If they want to kiss you, they should want the rest, too, right?" she replied, glancing at Rebecca with a smirk.

"Ooh, freak them out a little," Rebecca said, grinning devilishly.

"Exactly. They won't expect _you_ to respond and when you do it'll scare the shit out of them," Sam explained haughtily.

"I don't know…" Elizabeth said uncertainly.

"Believe me, when you see the 'holy crap, what do I do now?' looks on their faces, it'll be worth it," Sam persuaded her, grinning.

Elizabeth sighed. She didn't really want to hit on Nikolas _or_ Lucky. However, if it would help to get them to stop kissing her unexpectedly, she was willing to give it a shot. She just hoped neither of them would respond positively. _Then_ what would she do?

"All right, I'll do it," she said at length, nodding.

"Yes!" Sam exclaimed triumphantly. She glanced at Rebecca. "Okay, so next time you see Nikolas and Lucky, you'll have to get on Lucky's lips as fast as possible. I'll have to do the same with Jason when Lucky's around, and then whenever those two morons use _you_ again—" here she let her gaze briefly meet Elizabeth's "—give them what they least expect. They won't know which way is up and which is down."

Rebecca laughed and waved Coleman over. "I'll drink to that."

The three toasted to their alliance and went their separate ways, now prepared for the following days' events.

* * *

The next day, Rebecca strolled down the docks after her lunch at Kelly's. So far, she hadn't encountered either Nikolas or Lucky, but she was hoping a trip to Wyndermere would fix that. She couldn't wait to get started on Elizabeth, Sam, and her plan. She only hoped it would work. Sam was certainly good at a revenge plot. Rebecca wondered idly where she had learned that.

She didn't have long to think about this, because Nikolas was tying his boat to the docks and Lucky was helping. _Excellent_, she thought with a grin.

"Hey, Lucky!" she called excitedly, waving as she hopped down the steps.

Lucky turned and grinned, walking to meet her. As soon as he was in range, Rebecca threw her arms around his neck and pulled him so she could reach his lips with her own. She felt him stiffen in shock before his lips finally began moving against hers, arms slipping around her waist as he took control of the kiss. She felt his tongue slide over her lips and opened her eyes a bit to check on Nikolas. He was fuming. She would have grinned, but Lucky's tongue was in a rather bad spot for that.

Rebecca finally pulled away after a few more moments of feverish kissing and rubbed Lucky's shoulders.

"What do you say we go somewhere a bit more private?" she asked seductively.

"Um…okay," Lucky said simply, grinning like the idiot she suspected he was.

Little did he know, 'private', in this case, meant he definitely wouldn't be getting anything more from her. She glanced back at Nikolas and waved, grinning at him. She saw him stiffen in anger, steam practically rolling from his nostrils. She only hoped Sam would have as much luck.

* * *

Lucky stormed into Jake's with a huff, heading to the bar. He had hoped Rebecca would want to take things a little further. Instead she'd asked him to do her _housework_. He didn't get it. One minute, she was completely hot for him. The next he was the hired help. Apparently seeing the frustration pouring out from him, Coleman handed him the whiskey bottle and a glass. Lucky quickly poured a stiff one and tossed it back, intending to drink fast and hard until he calmed down.

While he got down to business, Sam slipped inside, glancing around the mainly empty bar. Rebecca had called her while she had Lucky fixing her sink, so she had waited outside Rebecca's and then followed him to Jake's when he stormed out. Hopefully, Jason would be there, too, and she could get on with things. According to Rebecca, her ploy had worked like a charm. The boys were getting theirs. It made her grin.

Rather than approaching Lucky directly, she went to the pool table to pass the time until Jason arrived. Before she could set the balls up, however, she noticed a man in a leather jacket sitting at one of the booths on the far side of the room, rubbing his forehead. That could be no other than Jason, she decided. She would know that particular mannerism anywhere.

Sam set down the pool stick and strutted right past Lucky, brushing her hand 'accidentally' against his back as she headed toward Jason. She tossed a glance over her shoulder to make sure Lucky was watching as she dipped down with a murmured greeting to Jason before pressing her lips smoothly against his. Rather than play along, however, Jason rather unexpectedly got up and stared at her like she had three heads.

"What the hell are you doing?" he snapped, glowering down at her intently.

Sam glanced over her shoulder again, wincing. Why couldn't Jason cooperate just this _once_? Lucky had already left, however. No damage was done, apparently. She sighed and turned back to Jason.

"Sit down," she said, seating herself.

Jason merely stood there, staring at her expectantly. She huffed.

"Look, I wasn't kissing you just to kiss you," Sam explained, rolling her eyes. "I need your help."

"With…what?" Jason snipped, clearly annoyed.

"Making Lucky jealous," she replied.

Jason blinked. "What?"

"Will you please sit?" she snapped, folding her arms.

Jason rubbed his forehead again and reluctantly obeyed, leaning back away from her, though he snatched his beer and took a swig.

"Lucky and I broke up a while back, as you know," Sam said sorrowfully. "Well, now he's been trying to make me jealous by kissing some other girl." No need to mention names. "So I was thinking about who I could kiss to make him insanely jealous and then it occurred to me. _Duh_! You!"

Jason frowned. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe Lucky has moved on?"

"He hasn't. Believe me. But _please_, will you help me make him jealous?" she whined, hoping a pouting face would help to convince him.

He stared at her, scowling. "How old are you?" he asked at length. "Why don't you just tell him you're jealous?"

"That would be admitting defeat. And he clearly has no respect for women, so he needs to be taught a lesson," Sam retorted, frowning at him.

"And you expect to 'teach him a lesson' by messing with his head and kissing other guys?" He scoffed. "You know what, Sam? Play whatever games you want, but _don't_ involve me in them."

Jason stood quickly, snatching his beer off the table and stalking out of the bar. Sam sighed, frowning. So…Plan A was out the window. She _knew _she should've decided on a back-up guy. There was always Patrick—she knew Lucky had been irrationally jealous of him when he thought Elizabeth was cheating on him. But Patrick was married. Who else was Lucky insanely jealous of? Kissing cousins was not an option, for obvious reasons, but she could always kiss brothers. Matt Hunter was Patrick's brother. That might actually work…. She grinned to herself.

* * *

"So will you help me?" Sam finished. It was the next day, and she had just explained her plan to a more receptive Matt Hunter.

Matt shrugged. "Sure, I guess. It's not like I have any romantic attachments of my own."

"Excellent. Thank you," she said cheerfully.

He nodded. "Sure."

He was a rather droll man. She hoped he was a better kisser than he was a conversationalist. Not that it mattered, since the ultimate goal was to get Lucky to kiss her, and he _was_ a pretty good kisser. She didn't know how Elizabeth had given that up. Although, after a night with Jason, she supposed it'd be easy to give up just about anyone.

Just as she and Matt exited the elevator, she spied Lucky talking to Elizabeth at the hub. With one glance at Matt and after clearing her throat a couple times, he got the hint and swung her in his arms, smashing his lips onto hers quite forcefully. He was just about the worst kisser ever, she decided immediately. His hands—not to mention his lips—were all over the place, and his tongue was everywhere. Oh, well, he'd have to do. It wasn't like Lucky had any idea how awful Matt's technique was.

Sam opened one eye, looking over at Lucky and Elizabeth. Her co-conspirator looked as though she was about to burst into laughter, while Lucky was about to blow a gasket. When he glanced Elizabeth's way, the nurse mumbled an excuse and scurried away, just in time to escape Lucky's revenge kiss.

When the cop stormed away, Matt finally released her and Sam wiped off her lips, hoping the blood would eventually return to them.

"Well, thanks, I think that did it," she told him with a weak smile.

"No problem," he said, walking past her to the hub.

Sam heaved a shrug and shook her head, then went off to find Elizabeth. She and Rebecca had held up their parts of the plan, now it was time for Elizabeth to scare the daylights out of the Moron Twins. She found Elizabeth outside a patient's room shortly after leaving the lobby.

"Hey," she said, coming up beside her. "Have you done anything with Nikolas or Lucky yet?"

Elizabeth drooped. "No. I don't know if I can do it."

"Of course you can! You're just giving them what they deserve," Sam assured her, patting her on the back. "And you only have to do it once."

"Technically, I have to do it twice," she retorted, wrinkling her nose.

Sam didn't think Elizabeth needed any sympathy at the moment, so she pointed out casually, "I had to kiss Matt. Not to mention, _Jason_."

"Oh, so you still kissed Jason?" she asked, trying very hard to sound nonchalant.

"Not for very long. He wasn't very agreeable to my plan," Sam replied, scowling. "But anyway, Rebecca and I have done our parts. You can do yours. You don't even have to kiss them. Just scare them a little. Rattle their cages, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess." She sighed. "Okay, I'll…find Nikolas after work."

"Okay, cool." Sam smiled, then scowled when her beeper went off. "That would be Spinelli. Again. I'll see you later, okay?"

"All right."

Elizabeth watched Sam waltz away, not a care in the world, and felt absolutely miserable. She didn't _want_ to hit on Nikolas. She may as well have been calling her brother Stephen and hitting on _him_. And Lucky? Well, that was opening up a can of worms that seriously needed to be kept shut.

She missed Jason.

* * *

After work was over, Elizabeth found Nikolas at Kelly's, grabbing a coffee before he returned to Wyndermere, she assumed. She waited outside, deciding it would be better to keep this humiliation between the two of them. It took her a few minutes to get her face to look like anything even _resembling_ seductive, and once she had it, she found it even more difficult to hold it there.

Eventually, however, Nikolas emerged from the café and she comforted herself with the fact that she wouldn't have to do it much longer. He smiled when he saw her and she tried to return it, but it was hard to smile with the seduction face on.

"Hey, Elizabeth," he greeted her. "What are you doing lurking outside Kelly's?"

"I was…waiting for you?" She'd tried her hardest to make it sound inviting, but it just came out squeaky. This was _so_ not working.

"Oh, really? Why's that?" he asked curiously.

Just then, Elizabeth saw Jason sitting inside with a mop of blonde hair that could only be Carly. She smiled to herself, then refocused her gaze on Nikolas, all the while letting images of Jason, naked and waiting for her, on a bed of silky sheets, float in her mind's eye.

"I was just thinking about…that kiss," she purred at length.

Nikolas' eyes widened a tad as she stepped closer.

"In the hospital before?"

"Uuum…w-w-w-what about it?" he stammered, backing up as she encroached on his personal space.

Elizabeth gave him a Mona Lisa smile, pushing him back against the brick wall. She ran her hands over his pecs and biceps, trying to replace them with Jason's in her mind. Those were much bigger and firmer, so it was a little difficult, but she somehow managed.

"I don't know…maybe it's just because it's been so long since I've been with a man," Elizabeth replied huskily. "Or maybe I'm just starting to realize what's right in front of me. But perhaps there's a bit more to be explored about that kiss."

Nikolas' eyes were so wide she thought they would pop out.

"Uh-uh-uhm, sh-sh-sh-sure…I-I um…."

She leaned over his neck and brushed her lips lightly against his ear.

"Let me know if you ever want some company," she murmured, one hand traveling down his chest.

Elizabeth pressed her body to his quickly, then pulled back and winked. When he merely stared at her, not moving, she smiled and hurried into Kelly's as quickly as possible, rubbing her face and hair to wipe off the dirty feeling she now had. The images of Jason had faded away, leaving her with the sad truth that she had just hit on Nikolas, her best friend. She shuddered.

* * *

Jason gaped at the door where Elizabeth had come in after pressing Nikolas against the wall just outside. He knew she had seen him—he'd seen her eyes land on him briefly before she smiled and looked away. Was she doing to him what Sam was doing to Lucky? He shook his head rapidly. Elizabeth would _never_ stoop to that level.

Or would she? She _had_ slept with Zander seven years ago. But then again, that was because she had been in the crypt and she was frightened, not because she was trying to make him jealous. Right? He wasn't sure at the moment.

"Jason? Earth to Jason!" Carly snapped her fingers in front of him. "Are you okay? You're looking a little green."

He nodded once. "Yeah…fine. Um…I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

* * *

A few days later, Sam and Rebecca were hounding her to get going on Lucky, but Elizabeth hadn't seen him in days. She hadn't seen Nikolas, either, for that matter. She assumed Nikolas was hiding from her. Or maybe she was hiding from him. Or maybe both. She couldn't blame either of them. Lucky, on the other hand—well, she wasn't really sure what had happened to him.

Sam and Rebecca apparently hadn't seen him, either. Maybe he had skipped town. She knew that was an awful thing to wish, but she couldn't help it. She _really_ didn't want to hit on him.

Unfortunately, there he was, early on Monday, strutting through the elevator doors and straight past Sam, who was talking to Matt. Their conversation was initially about the boys, and Lucky taking them camping the next weekend, but Lucky kept glancing at Sam and Matt, leg bouncing. Eventually, she guessed he could take it no more, because he grabbed Elizabeth's arms and kissed her hard and long.

Elizabeth had simply had enough of this by now. So, rather than letting him use and abuse her, like always, she put her arms between them and shoved him—as hard as she could—into the wall. Lucky gaped at her, eyes wide and mouth open.

"That's it! I am so sick of you doing that, Lucky," Elizabeth shouted, hands on her hips. "You and Nikolas, every time you get even a little bit jealous over Sam and Rebecca, you immediately latch onto me! I don't care if you're jealous! Why don't you deal with it like grown men instead of acting like a couple of teenagers? Do you have _no_ respect for women at _all_? Or don't you at least have any respect for our dead relationship? You know, you could just ask Sam out on a date and stop beating around the bush and playing these stupid little mind games. So why don't you pull your head out of your ass and grow _up_?!"

Letting out one last cry of frustration, Elizabeth gave Lucky one last shove before turning away from him and storming off, past a bewildered Nikolas, a grinning Sam, and a dumbfounded Matt.

* * *

Sam and Lucky went on a date that very night, while Nikolas and Rebecca waited a few days, since he still needed to establish that he liked her for her, not for Emily. Nikolas and Lucky gave Elizabeth a wide berth for the next week or so, since every time she saw them she glared until they went away. Sam and Rebecca thanked her for her help and promised they'd do anything she needed, but she waved them off and insisted that not having her lips treated like they were open 24 hours a day for convenience was payment enough.

She'd had a pretty quiet week without Patrick or Robin or Nikolas or Lucky, or any of her usual 'patients' coming to ask her for advice. She and her boys had actually spent some quality time together. One Saturday, however, her grandmother insisted on taking the boys so Elizabeth could have some alone time. So here she sat, at the Metro Court bar, sipping a margarita and flipping through a magazine.

It was there that Jason, on his way to visit Carly, spied her. He stopped nearby and repressed his initial impulse upon seeing her: turning in the other direction and fleeing. Over the past few weeks, since seeing her with Nikolas and Lucky, he had convinced himself that she was trying to make him jealous and that the only way to combat this was to be as indifferent as possible. Of course, the harder he tried _not_ to be jealous, the more he _was_.

So, instead of avoiding her because of the inherent danger in his life, Jason found himself drawn to her. Which explained why he was sidling up to the bar a few feet away from her. He cleared his throat a couple times, but she never looked up. He ordered a drink, then glanced at Elizabeth and shifted a little closer to her. Inwardly, he was yelling at himself for being so childish and not taking his own advice. Honestly, his behavior was worthy of Carly. Why not just tell her he was jealous?

"Hi, Elizabeth," he said, jaw so tight the words barely made it out.

Elizabeth looked up and blinked, surprised. "Hi."

"How are you?" Jason asked, looking straight ahead rather than at her.

She shrugged. "I'm okay. How are you?" She glanced around, as if trying to figure out who might be watching.

"Fine."

"Good."

"Yeah."

They were silent for a few more uncomfortable moments wherein he glanced at her out of his peripheral vision and she occasionally stared at him between sips of her drink.

"So…how's Lucky?" Jason choked out.

Elizabeth hesitated, disconcerted. "…Fine?"

"Are things going…going good this time?" he asked. When she looked confused, he added, "Between you?"

Elizabeth's brow furrowed. "What?"

"Between you and Lucky," he amended.

"I guess they're fine…. Oh, wait a second!" She gaped at him. "You think Lucky and I are _together_?!"

He hesitated, looking at her. "Well, aren't you?"

"Ew, no!" she exclaimed, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "Why would you _think_ that?"

"I-I saw you kissing him and you slammed him up against a wall, so I—"

"I wasn't kissing him—_he _was kissing me, and I slammed him up against the wall _because_ he was kissing me," she explained hurriedly. "I was shoving him off, not…sexing him up."

Jason looked at her, wide-eyed. "Well, I thought you were, because you _did_ slam me up aga—"

"That was an _accident_, and you know it!" she retorted, pointing accusingly at him.

He nearly grinned. "It was really funny."

Elizabeth glared, shaking her head. "It was not. And I can't believe you'd think I would shove Lucky against a wall because I wanted him. That's just disturbing. And nasty. And gross."

"Hey, I saw you pressing Nikolas up against a wall a few weeks ago, so…." He shrugged.

"That wasn't…I wasn't actually hitting on him just to hit on him. I was hitting on him to scare him."

"'Scare him'?" he echoed, brow arched.

"Well, he and Lucky kept kissing me to make Rebecca and Sam jealous." She sighed. "So then I yelled at Lucky and…they've stopped." She smiled.

"Oh."

"Yep."

The silence settled in around them again, this time a bit more comfortable. Jason glanced over at her inconspicuously, running his gaze up from her high-heels to the silky tendrils of her hair. Her bare legs did little to cool his already heated gaze, and the red top hugging her curves nearly had him panting with desire. He swallowed.

"So…do you want to go slam me into a few walls?" Jason asked casually.

"Why would I…?" Elizabeth halted, blushing. "Oh." Recovering, she grinned and batted her eyes mischievously. "Are you sure I won't get hit by a stray bullet?"

"I think the bullets may have taken the day off," he replied, pants tightening at her flirtatious smile.

"Oh, then I think we should take advantage of their day off." She slapped her magazine shut. "And…really, any other day that they decide to take off should be used to our fullest abilities."

"I agree. It's a sound business move," Jason conceded, nodding.

"Would you like to name a setting for our merger?" she asked, smirking as she took a sip of her margarita.

Jason had been waiting patiently, but he could no longer hold himself back. He had to be near her. He abandoned his drink and slid his arms around her waist, burying his head in her neck as he hugged her body to his. Kissing the lobe of her ear, he murmured, "How does every night at my penthouse sound?"

"Or…even better, 24/7 at my house?" she returned, rubbing her hands over his arms.

"Hm. I may have to move in if that's to be done," Jason mumbled, lips busy with her neck.

"You might just," she agreed, leaning back against him.

"I guess it's a sacrifice I'll have to make," he whispered in her ear.

She glanced back at him. "Really?"

Jason nodded. "Yes."

"For real? Not just…'yeah, I'll marry you, never mind'?" Elizabeth asked delightedly.

"For real. If it's what you want, then…yeah, let's do it," he replied, smiling.

"Well, I think we definitely need to work out a contract," she said, sliding back into their flirting. "You know, negotiate terms…."

Jason swooped her up from the stool and she laughed after the initial screech. He grinned at her and she swung her arms around his neck, not bothering to pick up her magazine or drink.

"Let's go to a meeting," he said with a smirk.


End file.
